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Creativity & Fear: Part !

Dear creative you, Yes you, not all those other “creatives and artists”- the YOU deep inside that IS expressive, imaginative, and creative. If I may, I would like to speak to that part of you for a moment… Welcome creative you, this part of you that holds a million inspirations and ideas. Each woven throughout your body like a muscle longing to move, stretch, and be used. Hello to that fiery bit of you inside your chest that desperately wants to make things and express, I see you. The you that perpetually buys supplies and courses, always starting new projects and chasing new ideas. That part of you that keeps desperately returning to the intention to let creativity sweep you away. I am so happy to see you- creative you. This quiet feeling, a moving whisper that takes stillness and patience to be fully seen. I know that sometimes you flicker, that the pressures of the world make you doubt yourself, and at times you have been buried so deep, forgotten so long, that the weight of the dust on top of you has felt like too much to ever shake off. I know (even if you have forgotten) that this part of you will never go away. That no matter how much hurt you have endured, how many tangles of scars try to hold you in and protect you from the harsh world, that the CREATIVE YOU can never be extinguished. Oh, hello fear, I see you too.

Every time the creative you attempts to stand in the spotlight and be seen that there you are too waiting in the wings for your chance to burst on stage and begin its tirade. Fear you are a loud siren, a steady drip of stories drowning out the quiet whispers of creativity, always trying to steal the spotlight pushing creativity to the side with overbearing concern. You fear, are welcome here too. See fear I know you too, you are a great storyteller, masterful in fact. A loud voice always weaving some tale about how “you aren’t good enough”, “that you will mess up”, “that you don’t actually belong here and soon someone will find out you are faking it.” A doubtful voice saying that you “won’t finish,” “that it will never end up the way it should,” “that you can’t commit,” “will make a mess,” “waste time, money, and supplies.” It’s hard not to hear you. Fear you see that “real artist” at the coffee shop over there, scroll through Instagram and point your finger at real talent, recall that friend who has done so many amazing innovative things and you make up a story that they are what “creatives truly are- not silly old you.” Fear declares that you are a silly hobbyist making a mess, jumping from project to project, never quite finishing anything. So much fear, an infinite cascading cacophony always finding new forms but never losing strength. And so it is, whenever creative you step’s forward there too is fear. Creative you, alive vibrant and desperately wishing to follow each whisper. Fear, the loud tag along longing to be heard and respected. The two inextricably bound to one another, never one without the other. Forever this dance between creativity and fear, no one quite sure who should be in the lead. And so, quietly creative you steps forward and begins to sway and then the jeering from the sidelines begins fear says it wants in to… I think deep down you know this already, but it bears repeating time and time again. There is no escaping fear, no quieting it, no forever solution to make it go away. Only a relationship to be made. And like all relationships if we don’t approach it with intention, compassion, love, and curiosity then it will become painful in the expression of its unmet needs. I know you want to fast-forward to the end, to the part where harmony is found between the two. But a trusting loving relationship starts with truly seeing and listening, a foundation to begin any lifelong companionship… And so here is a Creative Prompt for you to start this process:

  • Write a 1-page letter to the Creative part of you. Begin with “Dear Creative (your name), write whatever you would like to the creative part of yourself. A thank you, an acknowledgement whatever feels right. At the end sign your name and look back at what you have written and underline what feels most important.

  • Now write a 1-page letter to the Fearful part of you. Begin with “Dear Fearful (your name), write whatever you would like to the fearful part of yourself. A recognition, questions, a thank you, an acknowledgement, whatever feels right. At the end sign your name and look back at what you have written and underline what feels most important

This is a beginning, a start to better understanding the dance between creativity and fear, two forces bound to one another living deep inside of you. I have much, much, more to say and offer you about this, so watch for a deepening and continuation of this in the weeks and months to come. Hence part 1 today! Until then I see you creativity, and I see you fear, thanks for being here. Rachel


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