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I sit down because when I stand I feel it pulling me apart.

I stare at my screen

because when I am still,

it all floods in.

I can't get a handle,

there is just too many

things coming at me.

Some things slice in deep leaving resentful wounds.

Others pull me

and tug me

begging for attention and love.

I go to bed and think to myself what do I want out of my day tomorrow?

What is most important? I make a mental list of things to do. The busy boss lady me takes over as though checking things off my list makes me more alive.

Then I crawl into bed and I think to myself the only thing I have to do tomorrow is love my children and steal a moment with my husband. What more is there to do?

Stand up and feel the tug.

Look away from the screen and revel in the ideas.

Let it all wash over you.

Your list is the secondary plot. Love is the lead.

I sculpted this paper flower using torn mixed media paper. A physical mediation on love and my ability to resist the urge to produce and get lost in meaningless preoccupations.


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